


Death Eater Strategy Meeting

by marty_mcfly_jr



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Death Eaters, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 06:15:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17017293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marty_mcfly_jr/pseuds/marty_mcfly_jr
Summary: Bellatrix wants to give Voldy a birthday gift.  Luna is at the meeting.





	Death Eater Strategy Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> Written before 2007 when book 7 was still a mystery.

Luna Lovegood walked into the Death Eater meeting looking so dreamy she might have gotten there by mistake. But she _couldn't_ have wandered in by accident; she was dressed for the occasion to the tee: black hooded cloak; mask – she looked like any one of the other death eaters in the crowd.

"So we were planning on giving our master a birthday present," said Bellatrix Lestange to all the Death Eaters gathered around, "and the best gift would be to capture the Potter boy and deliver him to the Dark Lord."

"I think it would be better if I eat the Potter boy," said Greyback hungrily licking his lips.

"Are you out of your mind!" a few of the Death eaters asked fearfully.

Luna scratched her chin thoughtfully, "actually, I think it's his mind that's out of him," she said dreamily.

"the Dark Lord wants to kill Potter himself!" said Bellatrix angrily, ignoring Luna.

"Do you even have a plan of how to capture the boy, or are you talking out of your bleep?" sneered Snape.

"Well, this is why I called this meeting, isn't it? We shall come up with a plan by tonight."

The Death Eaters all looked at each other, hoping someone will think of something fast. They had no will to be on the wrong side of Bellatrix, but none had any wish to stay all night and discuss a hopeless cause. 

Slowly, though, people came up with suggestions. None were possible to carry out, but at least it kept Bellatrix happy for the time being: it proved to her that they cared about giving the Dark Lord a good birthday gift.

As the Death Eaters countinued with their discussions, Luna noticed that many were starting to relax. Some were even conjuring food and sitting down to munch.

Bellatrix noticed a pair of fat Death Eaters feasting on fruits and started yelling, "what are you sitting here and doing? We haven't got too much time!"

"Time flies like the wind, and fruit flies like banana" said Luna in a singsong voice.

This was a big mistake.

Bellatrix turned to her, "who the bleep - bleeeeep - bleeppeeepeeep are you?" she asked advancing at Luna.

"She's a Death Eater, can't you tell by her dress code?" said one of the other Death Eaters.

Bellatrix took off Luna's mask.

The room got quiet.

"Aren't you the one who fought us at the ministry?" asked Bellatrix in a dangerous voice.

"Yes I am, I came here to spy on you for Harry," she said plainly.

The Death Eaters were so taken aback by her blunt honesty that they didn't even think of killing her.  
Instead, "how did you get here?" they all asked.

"The knight bus" said Luna.

"You took the knight bus?" asked the fat Death Eater incredulously.

"No, the knight bus took me," said Luna in her dreamy voice.

The Death Eaters stared at her.

"We should kill her," said Greayback suddenly.

"You can't," said Luna sincerely, her eyes popping out with excitement, "my hair is full of nargles and I brought along a crumpled horned shornkak."

Luna looked so serious that the Death Eaters couldn't argue. As they were trying to figure out where and what the nargles were, Luna disappeared with a puff of purple smoke.

"Well, there wasn't much information today anyway," sighed Fred and disappeared too.


End file.
